After publishing my friend’s message and commenting on her intentions to take a vacations trip, I somehow wished to take a little vacation too. As I have no ties to prevent it, I adhered to my wish. I took a few days trip, totally disconnected from the Internet and the current rush of technology. Over there, I met up with a longtime friend and her family… It had been ages since I saw them last, so it was good to finally catch up, and we all had a good time and a lot of stories to tell. Thank God, they’re OK, in general. All of her kids have grown up nicely, already graduated, and have married. Except for the eldest daughter, who has a health problem. A few years ago, she was diagnosed with diabetes, and that fact did lead to many drastic changes in her lifestyle. Of course, now she follows healthier food and exercise habits, which is totally recommendable (and mandatory!). However, there are some changes which are too excessive and harmful, in my opinion. Despite her disease is medically controlled, and shes does not feel any physical problem (on the contrary, she externally reveals a spectacular health condition), her courage and joy have fallen considerably. She used to be a playful and lively girl, but now she decided to give up parties, to go shopping with her friends, love… and everything joyful, simply because she is afraid of suffering a sudden, unexpected diabetic complication or coma, amidst the happiness of the reunion. She would become a disturbance… others would see her weak and in panic, prey to fear. And she does not want to go through that. She is concerned about what might happen, and what her friends could say. In a sense, she fears rejection.
Therefore, she has forfeited happiness, fearing “what might happen.” Albeit she knows that her disease is successfully controlled, “she does not feel the required confidence”… Confidence in who or what? Confidence in her doctors? No. I told her that she did not have confidence in herself. It had nothing to do with diabetes, specifically. She was just doubting her ability to respond to unexpected situations, related or not to her diabetes. Needless to say, very improbable situations. Fear is always the finished product of a lack of self-confidence. Besides, fear is never innocent.
I think that we should not worry about what might happen. It’s fine to review the possibilities, the things that may happen… logically, some results will be better than others. But we must not surrender to fear or worries. Rather than worrying about future possibilities, we should focus on living the present. 90% of those things that worry us do never occur. Concerning about the future is falling prey to anxiety… During such anxiety episodes, we want the future to arrive now, as soon as possible, to live it now… Sometimes living the future now is the only cure we find to our head spinning for the ocean of possibilities and those “things that might happen.” But that is totally wrong.
Time is wise, and shares its wisdom with those who are patient. Things occur, good or bad… things just happen. That should be obvious. And when they happen, we act accordingly. More often than not, we cannot anticipate how such “accordingly acting” should be. An that’s normal. However, problems raise when our minds tend to fall into the trap of believing that by “anticipating” we have a better chance of success once things have occurred. Yes, that’s true, “to anticipate” aids a lot. But… how many variables must we handle in order to our anticipation to be meaningful? Therein lies the problem: the amount of variables involved in our anticipated reasoning. To solve a concrete problem in some specific area (e.g., Physics, Economics, etc.), “to anticipate” can be crucial. In real life, anticipating would also be good… but life has an almost infinite number of variables beyond our reach, and therefore perfectly anticipating a situation makes no sense, and in fact, is unattainable beyond luck’s grounds. We have no control over the future. We must plan, in order to improve our chance of success, but we must also recognize our limits (be humble!): a perfect plan does not amount to a perfect future. Our true option is to live the present… by acting we enforce the bit of control we have over the present.
Finally, I like to think that life is multicolored. And it’s up to us which colors we do choose. Behind every joy there is always a bitterness, and each misfortune encloses some advantage. We select our colors. Again, don’t concern about the future… Let’s act right now! Future will always arrive, no matter our plans… we cannot change that fact. But once future has arrived, let’s act with self-confidence. By acting now, we show and enjoy the colors of our life.
Be happy 🙂